Welcome to my blog, and thank you for reading! For several
years, I have contemplated writing this type of a blog, and I am excited to
finally have it up and running!!! Let me start by sharing a little more about
me and what you can expect from visiting my site. My hope is that each post
will help someone, anyone, out in the wide universe walk away with some degree
of light, wisdom, and truth regarding this beautiful journey of life; and I am
sure I will learn from you, too, as you share your knowledge and insights with
me through your comments.
Who am I?
My name is Rebecca, and I am a daughter of God. I am a
member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. If this name does
not sound familiar, you might better know those of my faith as “LDS” or
“Mormons.” Why the nicknames? Simply put, they are shorter and easier to say.
“Mormon” comes from our belief in The Book of Mormon, which we read and study
alongside the Bible. However, I prefer to use the full title of our church, as
it includes an extremely important name that is left out in the nicknames –
namely JESUS CHRIST. Yes, we believe in Christ. We talk of Christ. We
rejoice in Christ. We have hope in Christ. I’m not talking about the
wishy-washy “I’m pretty sure the glass is half full” kind of hope. I mean
actual convicted heartfelt joy, peace, love, knowledge, and faith that stirs
through your mind, heart, eyes, ears, and entire body (even when you know bad
things are happening around you or in the world). Perhaps you don’t know what I
mean right now, but I hope to share more in future posts and encourage you to
find out for yourself.
It is because of my desire to follow Jesus Christ that I
have finally put together this blog. I was instructed to do so – to cast out my
fears of being rejected or condemned, to set aside time out of my insanely busy
schedule, to stop worrying about my weaknesses and insecurities, and share my
testimony of Him to the world. I am turning this blog over to Him and pray He
will guide my words in a way that will touch the hearts of those who read. I am
a weak and broken servant, but He has put me back together in ways that are
difficult to describe, and I know that all things are possible through Him.
Where did I come from?
Without going into too much detail, I believe we all came
from a heavenly realm before birth called the “pre-existence” where we resided
and were taught by a Heavenly Father and Mother. Why do I believe this? Perhaps
I will share in some of my posts a few premortal memories I have been blessed
with. For now I will just say my “earthly parents” taught me so, and I have
come to know it for myself.
I grew up in a small town where almost everyone knew each
other’s names, and Walmart was the weekend hot spot. I had a loving and supportive mom, dad, and 5 older
siblings. 2 of my siblings died as infants through stillbirth and a few days old
due to a heart condition; so I really should say I have 7 siblings. Our home
was a place of refuge, peace, joy, music, and learning. My mother taught me
from an early age to treat others kindly, listen to the Lord’s voice, and do
good continually. Some might call their gospel teachings a sufficient dose of
“brain washing” to really make it stick in my brain. ;) If you had ever visited my home, though, you
would understand how sensitive and caring they were regardless of who you were,
what your current interests/passions were, or what issues you brought to the
table. They were there for us physically, emotionally, mentally, and
spiritually in every possible way. Were they perfect? No. Was my childhood
perfect? No. But, boy, am I grateful for my many blessings growing up, and no
one will make me feel otherwise!
Education was a big part of my upbringing, so I earned a
bachelor’s degree in Secondary English Education and have enough credits for a
music minor. No, my English major does not give you permission to bash on my
admittedly imperfect grammar/writing skills. ;) I’ve worked many odd jobs through
college and have since been a professional tutor, taught private piano and
violin lessons, been a high school and middle school English teacher, and I now
teach for an online public charter school from home.
What am I doing here?
Well, if I’m being fully honest (as this is a place of
truth), I’m still figuring it out. What I do know is that I was asked to start
this blog and make it public for all to read who have the desire. So I hope I
have some dose of experience or insight to share that will benefit readers. I do
believe I am on the earth for an eternal purpose, as are you, and I have
journeyed through many ups, downs, and even dull moments that continue to shape
and mold me into the person God wants me to become.
Some “ups” to highlight: I met my husband at BYU-I
where we both attended college, and we are going on 9 years of almost-bliss. J We have 2 beautiful
kids and hope for more. We have been blessed with jobs that provide, including
my current job of working from home where I get to raise my children AND pay
bills! We both came from good families in whom we trust, and have a few
incredible friends who we consider to be family. We have a roof over our heads,
food to eat, warm beds to sleep in, kind neighbors, a knowledge and testimony
of God, a beautiful world to enjoy around us… should I go on? The best part is
that THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST has helped us to recognize all of these things
as blessings from God! That does not mean it has always been easy.
Some “downs” to highlight: We have suffered severe
poverty in the past due to time finding work, medical bills, student debt, etc. We had
to live with family for a year because we could not afford any kind of home
(including a small apartment). If it weren’t for family, we would’ve been in a
homeless shelter. We once had to separate for several months due to job
distance. Some years later, doctors found a golf ball-sized tumor in my
husband’s brain after he experienced a grand maul seizure at work.
After having the tumor removed, he was diagnosed with brain cancer and went
through a year of radiation and chemotherapy treatments. At the time, our
children were 2 years old and 4 months old, and we did not have family nearby
at the time. When entering preschool, my daughter was diagnosed with sensory
processing disorder and social pragmatic communication disorder. This was a new
ballgame that I did not understand or know how to handle on a day-to-day basis.
I’ve experienced extremely difficult pregnancies, sicknesses, depression, and
anxiety. I experienced a difficult and painful miscarriage at 12 weeks. We have
lost several loved ones due to old age, cancer, sickness, and suicide. We have
even mounted some obstacles within our marriage. I know I have not
experienced nor do I understand all of life’s hardships, but we have had our
fair share of curve balls thrown in our direction.
And you know what?
Here’s the big kicker… I wouldn’t trade ANY OF IT for the world! Yes, I know.
You’re probably thinking, “Yeah, I thought this was a place of truth, but this
lady is officially off her rocker. No, thanks. I’m jumping off this idealistic
crazy train right now before I get sucked into the whole positive-thinking circus
trap.” Hold up! Stop right there!! Before you slam your laptop shut or click over to the next
blog, let me explain.
Each of the challenges described above were definitely hard;
I absolutely cannot deny that. Why am I grateful for them, though? It’s usually
during these challenges when I learned and grew the most; that is, if I allowed
it. Some people like the analogy of the refiner’s fire, getting thrown into a
furnace like a steel pole, so that you can be purified and hammered into
different shapes. This always sounded a bit harsh to me and made me feel a little spiteful towards
trials, but definitely look into this video if that image works for you: The Refiner's Fire.
For me, I like to think of it more like clay. When I am busy going through the motions
of life or turn my heart/mind away from God (not even on purpose most of the
time), it’s like I am dry hardened clay. I cannot budge or grow the
way the potter wants. Sure, I might be a fine-looking pot that’s functional for
the time-being. But when I ALLOW the Maker to poor that bit of water on me to
soften me up, he is able to manipulate, add to, and shape me into so much more –
even a beautiful flower vase with intricate designs and handles. Though it is often through my trials that I am "softened" enough to be molded, I am working on being better at going to that water on my own and drinking of the love, joy, and peace Christ has to offer me everyday without Him needing to dump it on me in a harsh way. In our church, we call it being "compelled to be humble" when you can only be softened through trials, which is not always ideal; though
God WILL find ways – whatever it takes for us to draw closer to Him, rely on
Him, and allow Him to teach us! This has definitely come in bigger ways than
I’ve expected in my life, and I am certain the challenges will keep coming, but as I’ve turned to Him through prayer and total
submission to His will and teachings, He has taught me incredible mysteries
that I will not go into at this time. I will say one of the biggest lessons
I’ve walked away with that most could learn from their hardships is how to
relate to and be more empathetic towards others going through similar trials. That is one of the biggest things God wants – for us to be more kind, compassionate, empathetic, and full of service towards our fellow man. I also feel the same as the lady in the "Refiner's Fire" video -- the greater our sorrow, the greater our capacity to feel true joy. This is why I consider my challenges to be true blessings.
Where am I going?
My goal is to return back to my Father in Heaven and Jesus
Christ, knowing I have given my life to them, and experience never-ending
happiness with my eternal family.
(Quick side note: my husband proposed to me using this
scripture, saying he could not achieve never-ending happiness without me.
Couldn’t get more romantic than that, right? J
I also wrote a song about it with my mother that I sang on my wedding day.)
How am I going to get there? Not on my own, I can assure you
– only through following Christ’s teachings, relying on Him to cleanse and
strength me every day; and helping my brothers and sisters along the way. That
is my hope, prayer, and goal, and I do believe He will help me get there if I
continue in faith.
How can YOU know where you’re going? I wish I could say I
have all of the answers, but the truth is that ONLY He can show you the way
from your current point in life. I hope to share some of my thoughts as I go
through my journey, though, and perhaps it will help you on yours.
Please visit my blog again and be fed as often as you wish!
I am happy to read your comments, though I do ask that you remain appropriate
and respectful. This does not mean you have to agree with me. Please also
refrain from using my full name and/or the names of my family members if you
know me personally. Thank you! Now comment away!
